jueves, 4 de diciembre de 2008

nouarcs



Nou arcs es un grupo de mujeres violonchelistas nacido en el Conservatorio de Música de Castellón.
Acaban de lanzar su vídeo promocional.

Cuando pienso en violonchelistas, siempre me acuerdo del relato "El coño de la violonchelista", que aparece en este libro. Ecco un fragmento:

"Ahora que ya definitivamente las vanguardias han dejado de dar la murga, ahora que el cubismo ha engrosado el elenco de tendencias clásicas, ahora que el espíritu de Picasso dormita en algún baúl cerrado con siete llaves, aún nos queda a los nostálgicos del arte de principios de siglo el consuelo de asistir a un concierto para cuerda y ver a las violonchelistas en simbiosis con su instrumento, única imagen de cubismo que sobrevive en el mundo (dejo aparte la jeta de Rossy de Palma, demasiado equina y kitsch). ¡Qué compenetración la que existe entre el violonchelo y la mujer que arranca de sus cuerdas quejidos o murmullos o gritos exultantes! ¡Qué engarzamiento de líneas rectas y curvas, qué acoplamiento de madera y carne! Los aficionados al cubismo leemos ávidamente los programas de los conciertos de cuerda, esperando encontrar entre los miembros del cuarteto u orquesta a una violonchelista (el hombre no sirve para tañer este instrumento, no sabe extraerle esa resonancia última, expresiva de violencia o deseo, que las mujeres extraen, a poco que acerquen el coño), y pagamos sumas casi inmorales por conseguir una butaca en primera fila, al lado de la violonchelista, que tiene cara de virgen gótica y cuerpo de yegua. La violonchelista ajusta sus rodillas a la depresión de su instrumento, a esa superficie de madera alabeada, ondulante, que equivale a la cintura, lo agarra del cuello, le pinza las cuerdas vocales y le frota el pecho con el arco, hasta herirlo en el corazón y hacerle llorar un si bemol. ¡Qué pareja forman, el violonchelo y su tañedora! ¡Qué entrecruzamiento de piernas y brazos, digno de haber sido retratado por Juan Gris! En el intermedio del concierto, vemos a la violonchelista ajustándole las clavijas a ese hombre de madera, como la mujer retuerce las orejas al amante que no responde en la cama. Luego, en el último tramo musical, después de la regañina, notamos al violonchelo menos remiso, más dispuesto a apretarse contra el regazo de la virtuosa, más proclive a inclinar el mástil sobre su garganta de virgen gótica. ¡Cuántas cosas pasarán entre el regazo de la violonchelista y la boca ciega del instrumento! ¡Cuántos trizamientos de cuerda! ¡Cuántos apretujones! Queremos imaginarnos el coño de esa mujer y no podemos (necesitaríamos el talento de Juan Gris), queremos asistir a la lucha que se desarrolla por detrás de la madera, entre las entrañas del violonchelo y las entrañas de la virtuosa, una lucha seguramente sexual, aunque discreta y de orgasmos ocultos. El coño de las violonchelistas, enfundado en unas bragas con cremallera, debe contener notas de recóndita musicalidad, corcheas y semicorcheas, fusas y semifusas como vello púbico, o quizá (su forma sugiere esta conexión) sea un metrónomo que marque el compás con su clítoris, derecha izquierda, izquierda derecha, allegro ma non troppo. El violonchelo, a la conclusión del concierto, se desmanda, y no obedece las órdenes de ese metrónomo caliente que le dicta el ritmo, y se apropia de la voluntad de su tañedora, furioso, furiosísimo, en un climax final que me recuerda los arrebatos de Berlioz. El coño de la violonchelista, en el barullo de aplausos que se le dedica, besa las cuerdas de su amante y resucita la estética del cubismo, frente a tanto museo de pago."

16 comentarios:

nouarcs dijo...

Mil gracias por vuestro apoyo, es todo un honor estar en este blog haciendo ruido.

Precioso el texto, y totalmente verídico, jeje.

Un beso,

nouarcs.

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